I Fail At Life, That's Why I Became An Artist.

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Sep 6
Everyone remembers Emil from the end of Robocop where turns temporarily into the Toxic Avenger, but I remember him from one of my favorite lines in the movie.
Anyway, those of you who know how I feel about Robocop may be wondering what my thoughts on the new trailer are. I spent a GOOD SEVERAL HOURS tonight discussing it so I’m just going to copy and paste my Facebook comments here:
"Make him look tactical, let’s go with black" is the new "Let’s rastafy him by 10%"
In the new Robocop, they keep Murphy’s wife and kids around because executives can’t understand that the concept of humanity itself is worth fighting for.
In the new Robocop, they remove the butch female cop and add in a sad, doting wife.
In the new Robocop, instead of almost dying by going after the most dangerous criminals (who outnumber him and are infamous for murdering police) in the most dangerous part of the most dangerous city, Murphy walks into a bomb.
In the new Robocop, instead of breaking and eventually removing Murphy’s visor as a way to represent his humanity breaking through, his visor goes up and down at will because how will you know what he’s feeling if you can’t see his face? They Toby Maguire’d it.
In the new Robocop, instead of declaring Murphy dead and stealing his body to transform him into a weapon for the military industrial complex, they ask his wife if she’d rather he be stuck in a wheelchair or be made into a weapon for the military industrial complex and she apparently goes with the latter. Murphy’s wife is the villain of the piece.
In the new Robocop they make him black because it’s more “tactical” and stealthy. Then they give him a visor that glows red.
In the new Robocop there’s an African American figurehead who talks about how great drone warfare will be because this is a subtle movie.
My least favorite remake trope- having characters discuss how tacky an element from the original is.
In the new Robocop, it was revealed (at SDCC) that Robocop would maintain one of his hands so that a human hand would carry out the shooting. It makes sense because ED209’s problem is that it can’t tell the difference between a real threat and a child with a toy gun so they need a drone with morality (a religious trait. one might think that scientists would worry about ethics, but I digress). So they turn a human into a cyborg and he can touch the gun… with his regular hand… and… yeah. It makes sense that the appendage he uses to operate his primary weapon is his most vulnerable spot.
In the new Robocop, Murphy sustains burns to 80% of his body, but not his face because Darkman wasn’t a huge success and Hollywood learns from its mistakes.



Ironically, if they had gone for a remake of Starship Troopers and took out the subtext it would actually make the fans of the book happier, but they instead went after Verhoeven’s other classics.


In the new Robocop, we’re told that he has a human hand because apparently the decision to kill or not kill lives in the hand or whatever their horrible logic is. But the trailer shows the gun that pops out of his leg go into his robot hand. So, what? As long as you have one human hand it can tell the other one to not be evil?

Everyone remembers Emil from the end of Robocop where turns temporarily into the Toxic Avenger, but I remember him from one of my favorite lines in the movie.

Anyway, those of you who know how I feel about Robocop may be wondering what my thoughts on the new trailer are. I spent a GOOD SEVERAL HOURS tonight discussing it so I’m just going to copy and paste my Facebook comments here:

"Make him look tactical, let’s go with black" is the new "Let’s rastafy him by 10%"


In the new Robocop, they keep Murphy’s wife and kids around because executives can’t understand that the concept of humanity itself is worth fighting for.


In the new Robocop, they remove the butch female cop and add in a sad, doting wife.


In the new Robocop, instead of almost dying by going after the most dangerous criminals (who outnumber him and are infamous for murdering police) in the most dangerous part of the most dangerous city, Murphy walks into a bomb.


In the new Robocop, instead of breaking and eventually removing Murphy’s visor as a way to represent his humanity breaking through, his visor goes up and down at will because how will you know what he’s feeling if you can’t see his face? They Toby Maguire’d it.


In the new Robocop, instead of declaring Murphy dead and stealing his body to transform him into a weapon for the military industrial complex, they ask his wife if she’d rather he be stuck in a wheelchair or be made into a weapon for the military industrial complex and she apparently goes with the latter. Murphy’s wife is the villain of the piece.


In the new Robocop they make him black because it’s more “tactical” and stealthy. Then they give him a visor that glows red.


In the new Robocop there’s an African American figurehead who talks about how great drone warfare will be because this is a subtle movie.


My least favorite remake trope- having characters discuss how tacky an element from the original is.


In the new Robocop, it was revealed (at SDCC) that Robocop would maintain one of his hands so that a human hand would carry out the shooting. It makes sense because ED209’s problem is that it can’t tell the difference between a real threat and a child with a toy gun so they need a drone with morality (a religious trait. one might think that scientists would worry about ethics, but I digress). So they turn a human into a cyborg and he can touch the gun… with his regular hand… and… yeah. It makes sense that the appendage he uses to operate his primary weapon is his most vulnerable spot.


In the new Robocop, Murphy sustains burns to 80% of his body, but not his face because Darkman wasn’t a huge success and Hollywood learns from its mistakes.

Ironically, if they had gone for a remake of Starship Troopers and took out the subtext it would actually make the fans of the book happier, but they instead went after Verhoeven’s other classics.

In the new Robocop, we’re told that he has a human hand because apparently the decision to kill or not kill lives in the hand or whatever their horrible logic is. But the trailer shows the gun that pops out of his leg go into his robot hand. So, what? As long as you have one human hand it can tell the other one to not be evil?